im going to just live-post my social anxiety while im at the gym. or while im anywhere. i think it will help my adhd. and the social anxiety.
id like to say this will be ongoing, but it’ll last for however long the previously adhd will let me. because. the adhd.
i really have to get this wedgie out. but im at the gym. and there’s like 8 billion people here. and i will die if any of them see me. pulling my underwear. out from my butt cheeks. i will die. die dead.
I sat in my car in the parking lot for no less than 45 minutes before finally coming inside.
You know that commercial. I think it’s a dating app commercial. And they’re on the beach, and these two presumably young women see this older couple. And they’re like “she’s the blueprint”. Ok so. Every time. I’ve come to this gym. I’ve seen this presumed woman. And she is jacked. So fit. My idol. My god. THE BLUEPRINT.
Nothing gets you pumped up for a good workout like the shins and their soft-daddy tunes
I hope no one sees my greasy granola girl hair. Or my rosacea red face. Pls stop perceiving me.
So it’s not so much that I care about the number on the scale. But I hate the way I look. If I could weigh 170 lbs and be a muscle mommy. That would be good. But it’s 170 lbs of butter bean. I’m trying to not be fatphobic. But it’s so ingrained. I remember squishing my belly rolls in kindergarten. And thinking “go away”.
Eugh the worst feeling is sweat trickling down your spine into your butt crack. Hard no there bud.
I think more people have left. It seems emptier. From what I can tell from the treadmill room. Maybe now Is a good time to peek into the weight room.
There’s little sweat puddles on the steppy side things on the treadmill. From the sweat dripping off my elbows.
Oh my god. The daycare just walked a single file line of toddlers through the gym. Like 15 of them. And they’re so cute. One kid has a long blonde braid and is wearing a red spidey baseball hat. So cute. Beverly is acting UP.
Dine-O-saur DNA. dinoSAUR dNA.
The Gym Bros are scary. They’re huge and intimidating. But the Gym Not Bros. Huge and beautiful. Have you ever seen one? Amazing. I’m in awe.
Sweat just dripping off my nose. Like. Who gave you permission. Sir.
I do not like Things Touching Me. Sweat, soaking wet clothes, my headphones, my glasses, my hair, my shoes lightly scraping my left heel, my skin, other peoples’ eyesight. No.
Ok this is really helping. My brain doesn’t feel so clogged up with things. Words. Thoughts. The incessant song and noise loops. And bonus I’m not irritating my partner or bests with annoying texts that literally no one ever asks for.
